Saturday 31 March 2018

4% African (where birds fly, so can I)

Spot the Finn, the Italian, the Nigerian, the North African, the Englander, the Celt....
Temba Dance Company
At some point in the mid-1980s, in my first teaching job, in the middle of a sweaty, hectic, inspiring dance workshop at Leek’s Westwood High School, an African performer spoke prophetically to me. She was an older, hefty, charismatic woman who was a senior figure in Temba Dance Company (now sadly disbanded I believe). We’d just run through some energetic routine and she had been a circling observer, wandering around the room, encouraging, cajoling, cheering, whooping at the staff and teenagers – all age groups, all abilities – who were being put through their paces. She clasped my hands and, publically and loudly declared as the room felt silent – “My God, My God, Mr Johnson, I swear you have African blood in you.” People laughed. I laughed. We carried on. But it lodged as a significant moment in my life and, yes, I’ve told it as a story many times since, especially at times when my moves on a dance floor have been on the agenda…. and usually as a story to amuse. But I hardly dared tell people that I believed her at the time in a weird supernatural way.
She was telling the true truth
And so to our DNA tests. (I have the right to believe what I want to believe!) I expected to have Scandinavian DNA because of my Viking surname. I thought there might be Celtic in me from an instinctive set of feelings. I romantically hoped there’d be Italian because of my love for that country’s history, food and drink. And what came up? (See above.) 4% African (3.2% North African and 0.9% Nigerian.) The wise Temba dancer was right all along…. I always thought Sally and I were drawn together by our love of Yorkshire, shared political values, sense of humour, instincts for generosity and open-mindedness and desire to build a nest…. but looking at our DNA results, could it have been my ancestral 0.9% Nigerian DNA calling to Sally’s 1.2% Nigerian DNA?
Endeavour and Hadrian’s Wall
There was a great moment in a recent Endeavour on TV at an imagined Oxford Union debate where a black student invited the racist person who was arguing that all people who were not originally in England should be repatriated to their country of origin and the black student delivered the punchline “after you!” Humans are migratory animals. History, archaeology and anthropology have all proved this long ago. Accents and language demonstrate it. Customs and religion colour it. If President Trump were to send all the immigrants in the United States back to their own countries, then only Native Americans would remain. In the UK the earliest people we know about definitively were the Celts and we know they bred with Belgians, Germans and French before the Romans arrived. But Hadrian’s Wall had a massive impact. For over 400 years, troops from all round the Roman Empire manned the Wall (and womaned the settlements around the Wall.) Many bred. Many never left when the Romans retreated. We’ve been a mongrel, immigrant nation from the very earliest times. (Any alt-right readers who want to argue this point should read this hyperlinked article first which has its own links to supporting evidence.) So I’m proud of my African ancestry. It shows I belong. Here on planet Earth. Where boundaries and borders are imaginary human constructs. Where birds fly, so can I.
Celtic/English woods (at Bolton Abbey), candles imported from Scandinavia, vinegar and oil and wine from various parts of Europe and textiles and table mats from Africa....?



Saturday 10 March 2018

Anyone know a creative web designer?

Us at different times....
Raydan Wakes update
Regular readers to this blog might notice I’ve gone down to 3 posts a month in an effort to spend more time writing the first draft of Raydan Seeks (Book 2 of Rhenium Tales) and ferociously editing Raydan Wakes (Book 1.) Some characters are biting the dust, others are being amalgamated and new scenes are emerging from the swamp. If anyone’s interested in tracking the stages of the project you can use the Raydan or Rhenium Tales tags opposite.
Help!
REQUEST FOR HELP!!!! My own deadline of submitting to an agent is the end of July and I’d like to commission a website to support my pitch. Can anyone recommend someone who has the skills, time and inclination to create a website that would appeal to 11 + fans of dystopian/speculative fiction? I’ve got the content in terms of words and I’m clear about what it should look like, but my OAPstatus means I’m not confident enough to do the technical side. I’m also prepared to pay somebody (a modest amount initially, but more if an agent takes me on….) Ideally it would be someone I could speak to in person.
"Free" chicken salad for lunch with "Not free" champagne because sometimes you have to and skilfully baked unicorn buns which are neither "free" nor "not free" - just magical - and just because....

Saturday 3 March 2018

The Unforgettable Mermaid Inn

Back to the future
I met a man called Graeme on May 14th 1991, the day we were both interviewed to become drama teachers in the same department in a school in Wakefield. Nearly 27 years later he’s still a key piece of my life’s jigsaw and it was an unadulterated joy to celebrate a round number birthday with him this year high above the North Staffordshire Moors overlooking a panoramic valley across from The Roaches, the stegosaurus ridge outside Leek. Spookily the weekend party was in a venue that I’d haunted in the mid-1980s during my first teaching job and in the early days when Sally and I were newly married. The Mermaid Inn was then a pub and is now a luxury holiday let for large groups.
Mingling 
Food, drink, fairy lights, dancing, karaoke, walks up and down the valley, cracking ice in the furrows, capering round tussocks, gambolling across stepping stones, shoes lost in the mud (Squelchy Socks for Rosie!), skinny dipping in the (freezing) Mermaid Pool, cocktails at the bar, songs, speeches, nimble-fingered Dave conjuring atmospheres old and new, techno-Nigel dragging us into the 21st century, Ian & Nick dragging in an alternative way behind the bar, Nicky snapping our portraits, wigs a-waggling, dresses dressed up with somewhere to go, senses infused, palates satisfied, bellies gratified and chattering, chattering, words, words, words. Opening up, catching up, filling up…. the ghosts of the past met the people of the present. The different cast members in Graeme’s life lined up in order of when he met them, settled down, rearranged, intermingled…. and drank some more…. and more.
And Graeme, Nick, Lesley, Rosie and me entertained during dinner with the following, occasionally tweaking the lyrics:
Perfect Day (sung by Graeme)
Lou Reed

Just a perfect day
Drink champagne in the house
And then later
When it gets dark, we are soused

Just a perfect day
Feed animals in the zoo
Then later
Dancing, too, and then home

Oh, it's such a perfect day
I'm glad I spent it with you
Oh, such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on

Just a perfect day
Problems all left alone
Weekenders on our own
It's such fun

Just a perfect day
You made me forget myself
I thought I was
Someone else, someone young

Oh, it's such a perfect day
I'm glad I spent it with you
Oh, such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on

Maria (sung by Nick)
Stephen Sondheim and Leonard Bernstein

The most beautiful sound I ever heard:
Graeme, Graeme, Graeme, Graeme!

All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word
Graeme, Graeme, Graeme, Graeme!
….Graeme…. Graeme!

Graeme! I've just met a boy named Graeme
And suddenly that name
Will never be the same to me.

Graeme!
I've just kissed a boy named Graeme
And suddenly I've found
How wonderful a sound can be!
Graeme!
Say it loud and there's music playing
Say it soft and it's almost like praying

Graeme!
I'll never stop saying Graeme!
The most beautiful sound I ever heard
Graeme!

Ode to Bonnie Graeme (recited by Lesley, The Mermaid Bard)
Lesley (Burns) Boyd
(tae be read in a Rabbie Burns accent)

As a walked inta school that day
feeling kinda sad and doon
a walked intae the staffroom
and there he was, Mr Graeme Broon

A thought tae mysel, who can this be
this gorgeous gorgeous creature
and then a wis introduced, to
the brand new drama teacher

Cigarette in hand wi a great big smile
be his friend i wondered if I dare
this gorgeous gorgeous creature
with soft brown eyes, and hair

He wis an oasis of normality
amongst a group of nutters
Jean from PE, the slug
They still give me the jutters

And we smoked and laughed
and played bridge together
did we ever teach?
for here we are, friends forever

For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne
we’ll take a cup o kindness yet
for the sake of auld lang syne

The way you look tonight (sung by Rosie)
Dorothy Field and Jerome Kern

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.

You're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fears apart
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
Touches my foolish heart.

Yes you're lovely, never, ever change
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it?
'Cause I love you
Just the way you look tonight.

Sonnet 29 (recited by Shakespeare’s boyfriend, me)
William Shakespeare

When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
       For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
       That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

Unforgettable
To quote the titles of some of the songs performed by Rosie and Maggie: When I Was No But (Sweet Sixteen), Lillie Marlene was Mad About The Boy and Every Time We Say Goodbye, I Get A Kick Out Of You, since I’ve Got You Under My Skin and wish we could spend our days Cheek To Cheek. Many thanks to Graeme and hubby Nick for the generous gift of a wintry weekend away. And a massive hoorah to all family and friends for pitching in, setting up and clearing away. The Mermaid Inn will forever be a part of our memory bank, isolated geographically but connected to many souls in their feelings for Graeme. Unforgettable!
The best thing about memories is making them.....